Do you have a favourite cup? One that you automatically grab for without even thinking about it? The cup or mug that is precious to you for one or even many reasons you may not even want to share. You are so careful when it comes to the care of it and then it happens. Something drops and you hear the sound of breaking porcelain. Your heart skips a beat. You inhale and think no! not my cup! please not my cup!
You dread it but you have to find out so you look down and then your heart sinks as you notice, yes, it is your favourite cup.
Why couldn’t it have been the other item you had in your hand? Why could it not have happened to anything else?
The dreaded "favourite cup law" strikes again
It feels as if a tragedy occurred. We seem to go through a sense of loss over an item. Why is that? A brief urge to try and replace the cup but you know that is not possible.
A sense of loss as the next cup of coffee or tea just will not be the same without it.
You start to replay the history of the cup, where you got it, from whom and what happened at that time.
A thought comes to mind could it be fixed? the broken pieces are not too small are they?
The sigh that comes says it all though. There is no way possible to repair the cup. It is over and time to move on. Well, after a mourning period. That cup had the perfect fit. Your hand just slid into place. It was the perfect size and shape.
The rollercoaster or emotions are back again.
Time for another sigh as you breathe in the sadness, acknowledge that it is normal and breathe out the loss.
Now is the time for new beginnings. A chance to look for a cup that fits into your hand or hands again. One that is the ideal size, shape and thickness of porcelain.
New beginnings are not all bad. Time to focus on new rituals and routines. Maybe it is a good thing to spice things up.
You have just experienced the favourite cup syndrome or law.
Is there a favourite cup law?
Is it a thing? Well to me it is. It has seemed to happen a lot over time. Maybe it is called something else.
It doesn’t only refer to cups though, I just use cups as it is something that we all use at some time during the day. Without realising we all have our own preferences whether it is a large mug or small cup, thick or thin, bright or plain.
The care that one uses to look after it is immense. Time is taken to focus on it and make sure it is clean and stored safely. Of course there is the unwritten rule of no one should use your favourite cup.
Of course other cups may be broken over the years and they are not even acknowledged. They are after all just a cup or a mug.
The upset and trauma comes when it is your favourite cup that is broken and cannot be repaired. Your personal possession is lost and your familiar routine.
Can it apply to other things?
Yes of course it can. Who else has a favourite plate or bowl?
What about a special shirt or blouse, hat, scarf or gloves or other item of clothing that means the world to you. You wear it often because it makes you feel like the chosen one. You may have gotten compliments that it makes you look good. Or you wore it when something special happened to you. Whatever the reason you love this piece of clothing.
So why is it this one that gets ripped or ruined in the wash cycle?
Your favourite or lucky pen or whatever is lost or broken.
Yes the favourite cup law has hit again.
Why is it happening?
You take so much care and give so much attention to it and yet it is the one that slips through your fingers.
It feels as if fate is being cruel to you and working against you when you need things to go your way.
Taking a look at some of the reasons this may be happening is a good way of working through the loss.
- Frequent use
As it is your favourite you reach for it more. If it is a cup you have a routine of grabbing it first thing in the morning so it is in use. That means not only drinking from it, putting it up to sip and down on the counter or table. but washing and drying it and putting it back in the cupboard.
- The material may be delicate
Favourite cups are often special for that reason. It may be made of porcelain or glass, hand crafted and over used.
- Things used with it
There may be different items such as spoons or items that may over time scratch the surface on a slow basis but over time they wear it down.
- Storage and handling
As it is often taken in and out of the cupboard. Possibly shoved or squeezed in a corner or tight spot. Pushed to the back to potentially protect it from falling. While all of these are done with the best intentions that could cause it to drop.
- Emotional bond
We forget how many other cups or plates have been broken over the year. Instead we focus on the one favourite one that if it breaks we remember it.
- Random
Accidents happen and that is what they are. Things happen in life and not all are planned. Things fall and things break.
These can also all be applied to favourite items of clothing or other items.
Can you protect your prized cup?
There may be some things that can be done to minimize the potential of loss.
- Rotate usage
Don’t only have one favourite cup. If you have some other cups or mugs in rotation it means that the actual special one is not the only one in constant use.
- Gentle cleaning
When it comes to cleaning it use only soft sponges and avoid any abrasive products.
- Store it safely
Have a safe and secure spot for it. Not one one the edge of a shelf or near metal handles or sharp edges.
- Repair early
If any tiny chip is noticed now is the time for action. There are some porcelain repair kits that can fix them and prevent then from spreading further.
- Handle with care
Don’t place it near the edge of a counter or shelf. Avoid stacking any heavy items on top of it.
Could it be that the favourite cup breaks more often because it is used more often. This puts it at more risk as it is lifted, carried, washed, dried and placed down again.
Statistically it has more chance of something happening to it.
What is the favourite cup law?
The favourite cup law or syndrome is an emotional attachment to that item built up over time. A bond is formed and when it is lost or broken we seem to mourn it. Not only the item itself it is more of the support that it has given us as part of our daily routine and identity. We associate it with memories from out past of special people or moments. It doesn’t have to be negative. The rituals we have are important to us. Maybe it is time to expand our items. Ensure that there is a rotation of items. Locking them away to keep them safe means we lost the reminder of that happy memory it triggers everyday.
Once again balance is the key to a happy or simple life. We may not be able to totally eliminate experiencing the favourite cup law however we may be able to reduce the number of times we are hit by it or spread the love for a few items and not focus on one thing only.
